I am that guy
My plan to be that person in class who makes pals like it ain’t no thing: flawed. Execution:
Step 1.Two minutes of sitting next to someone with no acknowledgment.
Step 2. Exuberant introduction and a firm handshake.”HELLO!!! THIS IS MY NAME. WHAT IS YOUR NAME. COOL NAME NEW FRIEND.”
Step 3. Saying “Yeah, it’s always awkward just sitting there in silence right?” followed by what feels like a vacuum of time and space.
Spending the next minute contemplating whether or not to add “even moreso after having blatantly stated it” and deciding to look for something in your magic bag that will make you look like you have cool, urgent, important person things to do.
Finding nothing but a stuffed chibi Cthulhu doll, your house keys, a notebook and a pen, and deciding to study nature through the window while painstakingly avoiding eye contact or any such acknowledgment of the other’s existence while being acutely aware of it for the ten minutes before class.
My new friend did not say goodbye to me when they left.
