Dear Body
Stop it. Please.
The hormones cause the acne. The acne causes the grumpy. The grumpy causes rage blackouts, which is worsened by copious amounts of blood and what feels like the end of the world in my abdomen. I am not planning on having a baby anytime soon, so can we skip this, please? Your time may come, but causing a fuss is not going to speed up the process. If anything, you’re thwarting your own scheme.
The chances of you getting what you decrease exponentially as I get angrier, greasier, and increasingly manic depressive. Not many people are into that. I am your vessel. You need me to get what you want, so you better damn well cooperate rather than trying to bully me and make me feel big, bloaty, greasy and unpredictably moody.
Please?
