I found my people.
My people like zombies and aliens and zombified aliens wearing cowboy and/or pirate hats. I work at a super duper stupefyingly busy and inordinately demanding coffee shop full-time when I am not educating myself in matters which I’m not sure are of any relevance to real-life application.
I tend to get along with people and am not often engaged with the quarrels/cage matches/whatever-the-hell-else-goes-on-while-I-am-in-an-oblivious-daze interpersonal store drama. But lately everyone has been bitter and disgruntled and generally just on the fast train to grumpsville, which is completely understandable but also very unpleasant. Though I am not really at odds with anybody, I feel like I am another species or something. Like they’re all elves and I’m like a half-elf or some shit and they talk to me because they feel obligated because I’m humanoid, as are they, but, you know, there’s still this tension because my metaphorical ears aren’t as pointy.
BUT YESTERDAY I FOUND MY CLAN.
I picked up a shift in another store and the first thing I did was arrive five minutes late. At my store this would usually mean a reprimanding phone call, a dirty look, a sprinkle of guilt and maybe an insinuation that my mother smelled of elderberries.
So I came in all “Ohmygodyouguys. You would never believe the morning I’m having! My mom drove me to the wrong store (which she did), there was like soooo much traffic (which there was), and then I almost died when I got attacked by ALL the technologies because they got too wise and started thinking for themselves and turned against me, so I had to, like, destroy the motherboard-brain-thingy and stuff and save the world from imminent termination all the while maintaining a believable romantic relationship. For real. *pant pant pant*.”
And they were all “It’s cool. You belong here. We loooove you.” Well, not really. They just said it was alright and that it wasn’t busy anyways and one guy who I’d worked with previously said he was glad they sent someone cool.
Anyways, I knew I was in the right place when this happened:
Me: So, what are your plans for after work?
Rad New Best Friend Girl: I was thinking of going to the gym, but only because I bought a pass. It’s so nice and sunny though.
Me: You can alleviate the pining for nature if you get a machine near the window. Then you can at least gaze longingly.
RNBFG: There are no windows.
Me: Oh. Nevermind.The apocalypse could occur and you wouldn’t even know.
RNBFG: Or if it’s raining or something.
Me: Or that. I don’t know why I assumed that if you can’t see outside, you’re probably missing the apocolypse.
RNBFG: That’s good though. I mean, if it’s the case, that means the gym seems to be a safe haven.
We continued to talk about zombies, if aliens became zombies, and mobility logistics from that point on. I think the alien thing entered the equation because I drew a zombie with a jetpack and I needed to explain myself. She also told me to keep the picture by the till because she thought the manager would like it.
I got to talk about that and Chrono Trigger.
Today I went to my store. There was myself and a new hire working. There was a rush and a line to the door. For three hours. A lady got mad at me because I was talking to another customer who was being pleasant and said that she had to listen to our whole conversation and that I put too much milk in her latte and also that I was a terrible person.
Now I feel like I’ve seen the other side, the possibilities, and I can’t unsee them.
I want to live with the other half-elves where I won’t be ostracized.
